Like every respect of March 19, in the houses of the Italians, regardless of the day of the week, we find ourselves celebrating the Father's Day with all the family members, with a piled table, dishes that exceed the number of guests itself, a thousand smiles, Unexpected gifts and kisses on the cheek to the man of the house, to whom the importance (and the grandeur) that has in the family is remembered.
One of the customs I have always loved on this day, was taught to me at school, the place where something was always prepared for my mustache dad and which I usually put under the flat dish, to his "fake" knowledge. I remember the emotion and embarrassment
(mixed with anger and disappointment when they all looked at me) when my father, with the actor skills of an Indian TV series, was surprised at the gift and the secret message that appeared with the four corners of paper from the round dish of the service that my mother had won with the points of the supermarket; I also remember the next joy, however, in which I did nothing but wait for the embrace I deserved, while he squeezed my cheeks with one hand and with the mustache he tickled my cheek powerfully, making me helpless to a gesture that seemed more one Punishment ... but that in time I loved deeply.
A story, that of this day now entered to be part of our daily lives, which finds roots in the Christian culture and in the putative Father of the prophet Jesus Christ, Joseph.
But how much the vision of the Father has changed; In the last 70 years and I would go to the beginning of the last century, indeed we reach the ancient Rome with the pater familias, the paternal figure was seen not only as a parental component (and only sometimes friendly) for patrimonial and human growth of the people belonging to the family; He was a sort of guide, companion and even boss or master-one of those teachers who do not choose and that you have to endure, in short.
Culture, however, modified its structure, more or less around the 70s of the last century, in which women finally had freedom (albeit not total) to make their voices heard, inserting themselves in a speech that previously was only a mustache and Testosterone. Thus, the figure of man as landlord, prince, king of the house, commander, is finally unloaded, leaving out an intrinsic male chauvinism and making this figure, more human (even if not always).
The advertisements, the radio, then the television, up to the social networks in the new millennium, have inculcated us so, especially to those like me who is part of the 90s culture, an idea of father no longer master, but a friend; Of course, we are happy to celebrate it, but the inconsistencies and ideas deeply linked to the past are still clearly visible ... and in some retrograde images that we see on television, the place on the head of the head and the dish ready on the table as a sign of respect, Unfortunately, they are not always lacking.
But I like to imagine the figure of the father as a point of reference, one of those who do not scare himself to answer even the most uncomfortable questions and who leaves their freedom to their children to be what they feel, without necessarily having to think about the opinion that the others could have or the possible scandal that could create.
As I said, I have always loved to see my father to pretend Sorsprese and I don't know if you have been or still be lucky as I am, but my father has a constant thought of affection and concern towards me, that now that I have passed The 30 years, it flatters me a lot and makes me feel so loved.
This piece, however, is not to remind others how lucky I am, but it is for all those people that this party have not been able to celebrate it for too long, for those who have never been able to celebrate it, for those who would like but cannot, for Whoever would like but can never again, for those who would like and cannot, for those who would like it and do not have the opportunity, for all those people who want to grow as an individual and be recognized as a guide, a point of reference.
But if the word father derives from "pater", it is only for an indication of nutrition, commandment and which then explicit in the most varied ways in the following centuries, until it indicates the religious spiritual figure, or even the men of cultural power or political as "vate" and so on, but everything can be linked to a need for recognition of power on other figures belonging to a certain category and which deal with the material or intimate gain for some subjects. But as far as I am concerned, this ancient vision detaches itself from the real vision that this human being should have, which should not make the latter important or fundamental for the sole reason for having reproduced and that they have put someone in the world, but should Rather to be inserted in a wider meaning, linked to education, growth, company, presence, even to memory, joy and deep love.
Allow me to say that father can also ... indeed it should also be, in specific cases, those who are not biologically linked to an individual, but who in the latter's garden has chosen to plant seeds daily, taking care of it, removing the weeds and favoring the growth of the most beautiful garden tree; A father is an individual who lives on attention, meticulous closeness, desire to be there and to rejoice together with everyday victories.
So let's detach ourselves from the thought of a fixed family tree on the wall and remember that it is we who choose to be fathers, guides, reference points for those we love ... just want it, without justification and regardless of sex, reproduction or blood bond Just think of the Father as the only family sustenance, as a unique figure to bring respect, but let's live it as an individual with arm, ready to support us in the falls but who is not afraid of falling and asking for help to get up.
We also learn to simplify the meaning of this person.
Happy Father's Day to you who know how to accompany someone's life.
